The Book of Proverbs provides a picture of the ideal wife from 3,000 years ago.

Proverbs 31:28-31

Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,    
    but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;    
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,    
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Her children arise up, and call her blessed: her husband also, and he praiseth, her.  'Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.' Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Charles Bridges, MA (1794-1869) was a preacher and theologian in the Church of England before women had the right to vote (or many men for that matter). Bridges explains:

The virtuous woman is subservient to her own interest puts her family's interests ahead of her own


De Koekvrijer (1633-1635), Jan Steen

The virtuous woman is obviously subserving her own interest. For what greater earthly happiness could she know, than her children's reverence, and her husband's blessing? We may picture to ourselves her condition--crowned with years; her children grown up; perhaps themselves surrounded with families, and endeavouring to train them, as themselves had been trained. Their mother is constantly before their eyes. Her tender guidance, her wise counsels, her loving discipline, her holy example, are vividly kept in remembrance. They cease not to call her blessed, and to bless the Lord for her, as his invaluable gift. No less warmly does her husband praise her. His attachment to her was grounded, not on the deceitful and vain charms of beauty, but on the fear of the Lord. She is therefore in his eyes to the end, the stay of his declining years, the soother of his cares, the counsellor of his perplexities, the comforter of his sorrows, the sunshine of his earthly joys. (Ecclus. xxxvi. 23, 24. (i.e. Sirach 36:23-24 from the Apocrypha)) Both children and husband combine in the grateful acknowledgment,-- Many daughters have done virtuously; but thou excellest them all.

External beauty is not part of this portrait because it is a fading vanity and is not connected with happiness

Mona Lisa (1503-1506), Leonardo da Vinci

But why--it may be asked--do external recommendations form no part of this portrait? All that is described is solid excellence; and favour is deceitful. A graceful form and mien often end in disappointment, more bitter than words can tell. Often do they furnish a cover for the vilest corruptions. And then beauty--what a fading vanity it is!* One fit of sickness sweeps it away. (Ps. xxxix. 11.) Sorrow and care wither its charms. (Ib. vi. 7. P. T.) And even while it remains, it is little connected with happiness. It proves itself the fruitful occasion of trouble, the source of many hurtful temptations and snares; and, without substantial principle, to a well-judging mind it becomes an object of disgust rather than of attraction. (Chap. xi. 22.)

The virtuous woman fears the Lord and has lovely features



The Promulgation of the Law in Mount Sinai (1728)
Figures de la Bible, Gerard Hoet (1648–1733).

The portrait, here pencilled by divine inspiration, begins with the touch of a virtuous woman, and fills up the sketch with the lineaments of a woman, that feareth the Lord. (Verses 10, 30.) For the lovely features described--her fidelity to her husband, her active personal habits, her good management and diligence in her family, her consideration for the necessities and comforts of others, her watchfulness of conduct, her tenderness for the poor and afflicted, her kind and courteous behaviour to all--this completeness of character and grace could only flow from that virtue, which is identified with vital godliness. They are the good fruit, that "prove the tree to be good." (Matt. vii. 17.) They are such fruit, flowing from a right principle, as the natural corrupt stock of man could never produce.

The virtuous woman does not seek the praise of men and does not seek commendation for her pious labours but is praised for her good deeds



Visitation (1434-1435), from the St Vaast Altarpiece by Jacques Daret.

The virtuous woman seeks not the praise of men. Content to be known and loved within her own circle, she never presses herself into notice. But as a public blessing, she cannot be hid. (Acts, ix. 39.) And if she has no herald to sound her praise, all will say--Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates. 'Let every one'--says Bishop Patrick (Bishop Symon Patrick (1626-1707))--'extol her virtue. Let her not want the just commendation of her pious labours. But while some are magnified for the nobleness of the stock, from whence they sprung; others for their fortune; others for their beauty; others for other things; let the good deeds, which she herself hath done, be publicly praised in the greatest assemblies; where, if all men should be silent, her own works will declare her excellent worth.' Add to this--as her works praise her in the gates, so will they "follow her. The memory of the just is blessed." (Rev. xiv. 13. Chap. x. 7.) All will see in her the light and lustre of a sound and practical profession; that the promises of godliness are the richest gain, the grace of God the best portion, and his favour the highest honour.

Religion does not slacken attention to temporal duties but renders you scrupulously exact in household obligations

Good Housekeeping is one of several periodicals related to homemaking.

If this picture be viewed as an exhibition of godliness, we observe that religion does not slacken attention to temporal duties. It rather renders a woman scrupulously exact in all her household obligations, in everything within her province; careful not by her negligence to bring reproach upon her holy profession. Why should she be careless or slovenly, putting her important duties out of time and out of place? Of her it is specially expected, as the summing up of all her practical exercises, that "she should have diligently followed every good work." (1 Tim. v. 10.)

Virtue, not vain beauty, should be the primary object as it leads to true happiness

Georgiana Seymour, Duchess of Somerset was crowned the 'Queen of Beauty' at the Eglinton Tournament of 1859, the first known beauty pageant.

How valuable also is this picture, as a directory for the marriage choice! Let virtue, not beauty, be the primary object. Set against the vanity of beauty the true happiness, connected with a woman that feareth the Lord. Here is the solid basis of happiness. 'If'--says Bp. Beveridge (Bishop William Beveridge (1637-1708))--'I choose her for her beauty, I shall love her no longer than while that continues; and then farewell at once both duty and delight. But if I love her for her virtues; then, though all other sandy foundations fail, yet will my happiness remain entire! (Beveridge, Resolution II) The external choice was the cause of the destruction of the world. (Gen. vi. 2-7.) A flood of iniquity came into a godly man's family from the self-pleasing delusion. (2 Chron. xviii. 1 ; xxi. 5, 6.) The godly choice is uniformly stamped with the seal of divine acceptance.

We should go to Scripure and determine what God wants us to do

Jephthah's daughter laments - Maciejowski Bible (France, ca. 1250)

In fine--'if women'--says pious Bishop Pilkington (James Pilkington (1520-1576))--'would learn what God will plague them for, and how; let them read the third chapter of the prophet Esay. And if they will learn what God willeth them to do, and be occupied withal, though they be of the best sort, let them read the last chapter of the Proverbs. It is enough to note it, and point it out to them that will learn.' That which is last to be done'--concludes an old Expositor—‘ is to mark it well and let every woman strive to make it agree to herself as much as she can. Let every man be ashamed, that any woman shall excel him in virtue and godliness.' (Michael Jermin or Jermyn (1591-1659))

'Thus--and once more'--says pious Matthew Henry (1662-1714), in his quaint style--'is shut up this looking-glass for ladies, which they are desired to open and dress themselves by; and if they do so, their adorning will I be found to praise, and honour, and glory, at the appearing of Jesus Christ.

Source: Bridges, Charles. A Commentary on Proverbs. New York/Pittsburgh: R. Carter, 1847, pages 626 to 629.